TV Brainwashing

I should have realized that my kid was watching too much TV. But you know...it just keeps snowing and the days and hours of Nick Jr. are all starting to blur together. I didn't mean to let her watch that much, honest.

It finally started to dawn on me the other day. I asked her to bring something to me (and she actually minded) and I said "Thank you, Baby!" To which she replied, "De nada, Mommy!"

Wait, what?!

Did my child just speak Spanish?! I mean, not like reciting numbers or something, but actually in context?! What's going on here? I demand to know who's teaching my child a foreign language! She knows how to say PLENTY in English, thank you, I don't need her out Spanishing me in a couple of months.

Then, in the background...I hear it..."Come on, vamonos! Everybody let's go..." Ah HA! DORA! It's YOU who takes over the brain in my child's head! "That's it!" I declare. "Turn the TV OFF!"

"But Mommy! I was about to go on an adventure!" I know she's also wondering why I'm wigging out that she's learning a foreign language.

I was convinced that turning off the TV was truly the right thing to do while I was riding in Mom's car yesterday. Mom stopped to run an errand while we waited in the car. The kid was playing with some sunglasses and she pinched her hand in one of the arms. I kid you not, this was her honest-to-goodness-no-frills-added response:

"Ouch, ouch! Mommy, help, help, HELP!" She continued on before I had a chance to respond (as if I weren't even in the car.) "What's that? Do you hear it? It sounds like a baby hand. We better help it!" (Emphasis mine, added to show my disbelief in what was happening.)

*Enter theme music as child continues*

"Wonder pets, wonder pets, we're on our way. We'll help the baby hand and save the day. We're not too big and we're not too tough..." (She did pause briefly to ponder the words, but unable to remember them, she brought it on home for a big finish instead) "GoooooOOOOOO WONDERPETS!"

Wow. "Hunny? Did you just say you're going to save a baby hand?" I mean, I could have heard wrong. I'm prone to delusions.

"Yep! I sure did!" She replied.

"Just checking," I mumbled. And vowed to destroy the TV remote.