I learned a lot in my short career as a teacher. I know there are many teachers out there that will agree with me that some of the most priceless jewels of knowledge we acquire are the yearly "buzzwords." My husband even sent me an awesome idea for using these terms once. I'll pass it on for any current teachers out there.
Here's how it works:
1. Before (or during) you next meeting, in-service or staff development, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5' x 5' is a good size. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* no child left behind
* test scores
* core competencies
* standards of learning
* benchmarks
* proactive
* think outside the box
* action plan
* data base
* assessments
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* differentiated
* retention
* skills
* background knowledge
* effective learning
* exemplars
* implementation
* reflection
* writing process
* 21st Century Learning
* Problem solving
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout 'BULLCRAP!'
I got a real big kick out of this email, needless to say. I even copied it and passed it out to some friends at our next faculty senate meeting. You know, so that those of us who don't care about who's paying for the copy machine had something else to do.
ANYway...I say all this JUST to introduce my real point. (Completely unnecessary, I know, but I thought it was funny and it's my blog. If this were a paid publication, you would have seen my point much earlier. You're getting this hilarity for free, don't complain.)
My favorite buzzword of my last year teaching was "digital native." You see, someone, somewhere, whose job it is to sit and create these ideas for teachers to argue as they attempt to determine which new fad is best for our students, decided that there is an actual difference in the brains of "us teachers" and "them students". They call the students digital natives. And the teachers? You guessed it--immigrants. The thinking behind this theory is that all of the fast paced technology constantly surrounding our students in their lives causes their brains to actually perform differently. They can multitask much easier than we can, they are used to having information at their fingertips at lightening speed, therefore making it difficult for them to READ and actually ANALYZE material in search of answers. They also have the attention span of gnats. This guy says it's because they were born with the internet, I say it's because they're twelve. But then, he probably has money and I'm broke.
So as we sat through endless meetings discussing our disadvantage as "immigrants" and our urgent need to embrace technology and learn to use it effectively so that we may learn to understand the inner workings of the adolescent minds around us, I stuffed my iPod earbuds in, started a text chat with a teacher friend in another county I happened to know was also in a meeting, and pulled out my marching band drill charts and lesson plans.
Waaaaaaait a minute...who you callin "immigrant"...son, I grew up with the internet. I was on AIM before these kids were born. I was in COLLEGE when facebook came out and was only for people in COLLEGE. These other guys are the ones that are Two Thousand and LATE. Not me.
That's what I thought, anyway, until my own child proved me wrong. As usual.
I mean, I was ok with her not knowing that cameras weren't always digital. Even though I was behind and didn't get my own until the summer she was "thought of", the technology had been around for awhile and it never bothered me when she asked to see pictures on the back of a disposable camera. I understand her need for that instant feedback.
Another event that cause me to believe that I was more native than I am occurred when I was visiting my best friend. She has one of those little "built in the wall phone stall" dohickies in her house, and when I was visiting her, we were saying how cute it would be to get a pretty antique phone and put in it (for looks, you know, cause who still has a landline?!) She then mentioned that she thought about putting her cordless phone in there (so apparently some people with security systems DO keep a landline), but there was no electrical outlet--just a phone jack.
We both stood there momentarily, me with my college degree for which the State pays me to educate young minds, and she, a medical student at a very good school, pondering this dilemma. We finally burst into hysterical laughter and began making fun of ourselves, because we each knew what the other was wondering--"How do you NOT plug something in? I mean, how does that even WORK?" I'm embarrassed to even type that, but I have to strengthen my case that I am NOT an immigrant.
My kid busted my pinata with one whack. My husband bought me some new records (yes, vinyl.) for Christmas, and I took them out to the record player in our entry room to try them out. Of course, the kid came with me and had a million questions, which I expected. I know she doesn't know what a record is. Why would she? Some people my own age probably never owned one. But the following conversation is what REALLY got me:
"Mommy, what's THAT?!"
"It's a record, pumpkin." I replied
"What's a record?" This question I expected.
"Well, baby, it's a thing that plays music out of this player, kind of like a CD." I thought this was a sufficient answer, and then she shot me in the heart. Are you ready for this? All babies of the 80's please remain seated for the following comment. I am not responsible for anything that results from your reading of this question:
"Mommy? What's a
CD?"
That's it. Stick a fork in me... How do I even respond? I tried to collect my thoughts. I may as well start trying to explain to her how you don't plug something in. Or how to end world hunger.
"Ummm, well hunny..." More time, I need more time. I need Google. I need a shot of espresso. I can DO THIS. She finally bailed me out:
"Is it like an iPod?"
Look at me, trying to mask as a native while my two-year-old gives me a lesson in electronics.
She sealed the deal a couple of weeks ago. We were at mom's house and she was playing on my old upright piano in the basement. After an "inspiring" concert of "variation on twinkle, twinkle little star" that included lyrical arrangements of Jesus loves me, she ran into the room next door and hopped up on the computer desk chair and started going to town on the keyboard. This alarmed my mom.
"No! Gracie, what are you doing? You can't play a concert on Grammy's computer keyboard!"
The kid stopped mid-typing, and slowly turned her head toward my mom (who's pretty savvy around technology herself) and I swear she rolled her eyes.
"Grammy. I'm not
playing a concert. I'm
emailing my concert to someone."
Um. Well. Mom and I just looked at each other, rolling our own eyes so that we wouldn't have to admit defeat. But I think we were actually had. Offspring are good at that.
Before my child was a walking, talking prover of facts, I was convinced I was a digital native. On second consideration, I think I may have to admit a bit of immigration. I'm still sticking with the fact that it was a short move, because I refuse to be labeled with the illegal technological aliens out there.
