I haven't had time to post in...aw who cares. You can look over to the dashboard and see what a slacker I am. What's the point in posting it twice?
I had a quick one I just had to get out. Nothing long and glamorous-but I did pee my pants a little laughing at the incident.
The kid has recently discovered games. Well...she thinks it's a discovery. We actually stuck games under her nose for Christmas and enrolled her in a wide world of game playing at pre-school and Awana. But we'll continue to let her think it's her discovery. After all-Columbus still gets props for America...
Anywho-back to the kid. She thinks that she is awesome at game playing. She thinks she understands all the rules to every game. She even thinks that Duck Duck Goose is a two player game (and insists that I play it with her on at least a weekly basis. I haven't told her yet that I've figured out who the Goose is going to be every time. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for her...)
Because she has these mad game playing skills, she thinks that she should get to create her own games. This is where the pants peeing laughter begins. You can imagine what kinds of rules come from the head of the master of two man Duck Duck Goose. This one is the top of the list. It's called Buggy
Kid enters room with plastic step stool.
"Come on, everybody! We're gonna play Buggy!"
"Ok." Mom and I drag ourselves-I mean, we skip merrily-to the living room. "You have to tell me how to play." I say.
"Well, Mommy. First you need a credit card." Waaaaaaaait a minute...Who introduced my child to video gambling?!
"But I don't have a credit card." I say.
"Well, I'm sorry Mommy. You need one to play. First, I sit down on this stool," kid continues her instructions and procedes to place her plastic stool in the middle of the living room with much purpose, taking a seat on it, because obviously she's "it".
"Wait wait wait," I interrupt, "I thought you had to have a credit card to play?"
"You do!" She insisted.
"But you don't have a credit card."
"Yes I do! I have a McDonald's credit card!" wow...
"That's not a credit card...it's a gift card. You have to be 18 to have a credit card." It's bad that I have to try this hard to win.
"I'm three." replied Captain Obvious (keeper of the "it" stool).
"I know." answered the Ultimate Argument Winner.
*Long pause from the kid as she rose from her chair to pace the floor and ponder an escape from the corner into which I had obviously backed her.
*Sudden realization: Her game, her rules.
"Well, then you have to be three to play." satisfied with her resolution, she pranced back to her stool. "Now Grammy, first I sit on my stool and say..."
*The Ultimate Argument Winner will not go down that easily.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT a minute! I thought you had to be three to play?!" I clearly show my offense to being left out of the game. "How old do you think Grammy is?!" I'm pulling out a pawn with this question-because we know for a fact that she doesn't know the answer. The last time Mom revealed her upcoming age to the kid, it went like this:
Grammy: "Do you know how old Grammy will be on her birthday?"
Kid: "No Grammy, tell me."
Grammy: " " (right...like I'm actually going to post that on the internet.)
Kid, after a long solemn gaze that was colored with a hint of anxiety:
"Oh, Grammy...I don't know that number..."
Anyway, with this background information as my pawn-I knew I was coming in for the kill. The kid sat in her pondering mode for a full 15 seconds and then announced:
"But Grammy has a credit card."
So after a setup that is second in length only to Monopoly, we continue on to game play. Mind you, I only get to spectate because I'm not three and I don't have a credit card.
Play consisted of the following cycle:
1. Kid says "Don't fall off the..."
2. Grammy says (in a crazy low pitched voice slightly reminicent of "heeeeeere's Johnny!"): "Buuuuuuuuggy!"
3. Kid falls off stool on her face in hysterical fake laughter.
4. Kid collects herself and mounts stool.
5. Repeat Steps 1-4 endlessly until a player (usually the credit card holder) loses their sanity.
I suppose the remaining player is dubbed "winner". How intelligent. I think I'll create a game that only I can win. Maybe the kid is on to something after all...